I cant breathe, feels like the world is closing in. Breathing in air but breathing out sadness. My chest fills with pain, getting worse every minute, every second every moment. I cant explain this feeling, the pain is too much. Why am I like this? Sadly, its a secret too dark to see like the truth of a song deep inside a writers heart, It's a mystery yet to be solved. The answers are there but my heart has gone looking at the other direction, scared to look back. I remember doing it once and I never want to commit the same mistake again. Yet questions come into mind, when will I ever fight? When will I ever take the stand? When will I ever see that I deserve something? may be time will come, when I dont feel like im a loser? When I dont feel ashamed? When will that be? Maybe its time? Maybe its not? Maybe this dream means a lot? Why did I dream of her? Why did I see her? Why did I almost cry? Why am I crying? Why is it supposed to be like this? Please tell me why?


". . . I was walking on a road to nowhere, down and out, on the edge and on the brink of extinction, but. . I saw you, with your angel blue eyes and your smile. . With brilliance it lifts me up and gives me strength. . . And I was happy. . . I found someone like you. . but. . . It was all just a dream. . It was all just a dream. . "

Your song plays in my head,

Never knowing what it really meant,

It took a long time before i realized its true,

that its all because of you

As the record plays all over again,

I remember my mistakes back then

Ill skip some tracks and wait,

find myself playing the last song's fate.

Maybe ill sing it from the heart,

maybe I can go back to the start,

I just wish this record would end,

Without the lies and pretend.

~end~

Please tell me why?